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Thread: Jokes

  1. #671
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Today was my first day entering a court.
    The judge shouted ?Order, Order!!?
    I was so excited,
    So I shouted back ?fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.?
    I am now locked up in a dark room.
    I am sure they will bring my order soon.

  2. #672
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl."

    The other man replies, "Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken."

    So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?"

    Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony and I'd rather sit than dance."

    So the man humbly returns to his friend.

    "So what did she say?" asks the friend.

    The drunk responded, "She said she's constipated on macaroni and would rather Shit in her pants."

  3. #673
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Democratic Difference Betwen USA & India

    In USA: "You Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can't Susu."

    In India: "You Can Susu In Public Place But Can't Kiss."

  4. #674
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.

    He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?

    Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?

    sardar: 3 months.

    Wife: or meri shadi ko ?

    Sardar: 3 months

    Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?

    Sardar:3 month.

    Wife: total kitne hue?

    Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing

    Balle Balle

  5. #675
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit

    Girl: Old man.

    Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE.

  6. #676
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Read all the sentences in order

    This is this cat

    This is is cat

    This is how cat

    This is to cat

    This is keep cat

    This is an cat

    This is idiot cat

    This is busy cat

    This is for cat

    This is thirty cat

    This is seconds cat

    Now go back and read the third word in each sentence.

  7. #677
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market

    with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc.

    Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.

  8. #678
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

    Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.

    Banta Singh : Ok

    Interviewer : Made in India

    Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan

    Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up

    Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down

    Interviewer : Maxi Mum

    Banta Singh : Mini Dad

    Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat

    Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat

    Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat

    Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat

    Interviewer : I say you get out!

    Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in

    Interviewer : I reject you!

    Banta Singh : You appoint me

  9. #679
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    An Airline Introduced

    A Special Package For Business Men.

    Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free

    After Great Success,

    The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives

    Asking How Was The Trip.

    All Of Them Gave A Same Reply...

    "Which Trip?"

  10. #680
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    My mom told me to
    Turn down the volume of music on my computer
    Or else
    She would smash my head on the keyboard.
    But I didn?t believejhyteqfgouy i77uufsrhg.

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