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Thread: Jokes

  1. #11
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Distress Call by a Husband engulfed in Dilemma...

    "Guys need your help....
    In the middle of an argument, my wife told me I was right!
    What the hell do I do next?"

  2. #12
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Husband and wife went shopping to get new sarees for the wife.

    After seeing numerous sarees, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25.

    Out of these she asked her husband to choose 5 sarees among them.

    Then she finally picked up one saree.
    It took 5 hours to finalise one saree.

    The husband settled the bill and commented :"Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time.

    Ultimate comment of wife:- Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky u have to just sit in AC shop ...

    Moral :
    Never argue with woman while shopping.

  3. #13
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    ```A small boy parks his bicycle nearby the Parliament house and walks on...

    A police constable stops him and asks: Why did you park your bicycle here? Don't you know about this road? Many MPs, sometimes CMs, even President and cabinet ministers and politicians pass from here...

    The boy replied innocently: Don't worry, I have locked my bicycle.```

  4. #14
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Guruji, how do I learn about my mistakes.

    Guru: Identify one mistake in your wife and tell her to correct it. In response she will help identify all your mistakes along with your family's and your friends as well. It's that easy.

  5. #15
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    A New York attorney representing
    a wealthy art collector called his client.

    "Robert, I have some good news and,
    I have some bad news."

    The art collector replied,
    "I have had an awful day;
    let us hear the good news first."

    The lawyer said,
    "Well, I met with your wife today, and she
    informed me that she invested $5,000 in
    two pictures that she thinks will bring a
    minimum of $15-20 million.

    I think she could be right."

    Robert replied enthusiastically,
    "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman!
    You have just made my day.
    Now I know I can handle the bad news.
    What is it?"

    The lawyer replied, :
    "The pictures are of you with your secretary."

  6. #16
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    *Height of Fashion *
    Lungi with a zip.

    *Height of Laziness *
    Asking lift for morning walk.

    *Height of Craziness *
    Get blank paper xerox.

    *Height of Honesty *
    Pregnant woman taking 2 tickets.


    *Height of De-Hydration *
    Cow giving milk powder.

    *Height of Hope *
    A 99 yr. Old woman going for
    295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.

    *Height of Stupidity *
    Looking through key hole of a glass door.

    *Height of Suicide Attempt *
    A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.

    *Height of Friendship *
    It’s when your friend runs away with your wife ….
    And you are really worried for your friend !!

    *Height of Attitude *
    A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..
    Please Do not make noise by dropping coins!!
    Use Currency notes.

    *Height Of Work Pressure *
    An Employee Opens His Tiffin Box On
    The Road Side To See,Whether He Is
    Going To office, Or Coming Back From office.

  7. #17
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    India has 3 types of vegetarians

    1. Pure vegetarian

    2. Anda kha lete hai

    3. Piece nahi khaate bas gravy kha lete hain...!

  8. #18
    सदस्य pyasa_sawan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neelima View Post
    India has 3 types of vegetarians

    1. Pure vegetarian

    2. Anda kha lete hai

    3. Piece nahi khaate bas gravy kha lete hain...!
    hahahahaha ,
    absolutely right
    Jay Hind

  9. #19
    सदस्य pyasa_sawan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neelima View Post
    Guruji, how do I learn about my mistakes.

    Guru: Identify one mistake in your wife and tell her to correct it. In response she will help identify all your mistakes along with your family's and your friends as well. It's that easy.
    hahahahahha
    long live wives
    Jay Hind

  10. #20
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Boy: What you think about our love?

    Girl: Try to count the starts in the sky...

    Boy: Awww... it's infinite.

    Girl: No darling!, it's a waste of time.

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