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Thread: Jokes

  1. #241
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    My husband and I couldn't decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.

    "If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,"

    I said, "what would you get?"

    "A bulletproof one," he said. "I'm married."

  2. #242
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Boss: We Are Very Keen On Cleanliness. Did You Wipe Your Feets On The Mat As You Came In?"

    New Employee: "Yes, Sir"

    Boss: "We Are Also Keen On Truthfulness. There Is No Mat"

  3. #243
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Wife To Husband On The Phone,

    Wife: "Hey Baby, Doing?"

    Husband: "Listen, I Am Really Busy, Don't Have Time To Talk At All"

    Wife: "Well Baby, I Have A Good News And Bad News For You. You Want To Hear Them?"

    Husband: "Just Tell Me The Good News, I Don't Have Time For The Bad!"

    Wife: "Okay, Good News Is The Air Bags Of Our New BMW Work Absolutely Fine"

  4. #244
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    After a very busy day, a commuter settled down
    in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed.

    As the train rolled out of the station,
    the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone
    and started talking in a loud voice:
    "Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train - yes,
    I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty
    but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not
    with that floozie from the accounts office,
    with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only
    one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart"
    etc., etc.

    Fifteen minutes later he was still talking loudly,
    when the young woman sitting next to him,
    who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe,
    yelled at the top of her voice:

    "Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and
    come back to bed !"

    My guess would be that Eric doesn't use
    his cell phone in public any longer.

  5. #245
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Wife: "I Wish, I Was A Newspaper,

    So I Would Be In Your Hands All-Day"

    Husband: "I Too Wish, That You Were A Newspapers,

    So I Could Have A New One Everyday"

  6. #246
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Three Fastest Means Of Communication:

    Tele-Phone
    Tele-Vision
    Tell A Woman
    Bonus: Need Still Faster - Tell Her Not To Tell Anyone.

  7. #247
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    A Love Couple Sitting In The Park, Boy Tries To Kiss The Girl.

    Girl: "No Dear, Not All This Before Marriage"

    Boy: "Don't Worry Darling, I Am Already Married"

  8. #248
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Girlfriend And Boyfriend Doing Love Chat In Park.

    Girlfriend: "How Much Do You Love Me?"

    Boyfriend: "I'd Take Bullet For You."

    Girlfriend: "Awwwww! Seriously?"

    Boyfriend: "Yeah, Enfield Bullet In Dowry."

  9. #249
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    A Little Girl Asked Her Mother: "How Did The Human Race Start?"

    The Mother Answered: "God Made Adam And Eve And They Had Children, And So All Mankind Was Made"

    Two Days Later The Girl Asked Her Father The Same Question.

    The Father Answered: "Many Years Ago There Were Monkeys From Which The Human Race Evolved"

    The Confused Girl Returned To Her Mother And Said: "Mom, How Is It Possible That You Told Me The Human Race Was Created By God, And Dad Said They Developed From Monkeys?"

    The Mother Answered: "Well Dear, It Is Very Simple. I Told You About My Side Of The Family, And Your Father Told You About His"

  10. #250
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful life, as compared to men?

    A very intelligent student replied to:

    "Because Women don't have a wife!"

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