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Thread: Jokes

  1. #5471
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Law Of Mechanical Repair

    After Your Hands Become Coated With Grease, Your Nose Will Begin To Itch.

    Law Of The Workshop

    Any Tool, When Dropped, Will Roll To The Least Accessible Corner.

    Law Of The Telephone

    When You Dial A Wrong Number, You Never Get A Busy Signal.

    Law Of The Alibi

    If You Tell The Boss You Were Late For Work Because You Had A Flat Tire, The Very Next Morning You Will Have A Flat Tire On The Way To Work.

    Variation Law

    If You Change Lines (Or Traffic Lanes), The One You Were In Will Start To Move Faster Than The One You Are In Then.

    Bath Theorem

    When The Body Is Fully Immersed In Water, The Telephone Rings.

    Law Of Close Encounters

    The Probability Of Meeting Someone You Know Increases When You Are With Someone You Don’t Want To Be Seen With.

    Law Of The Result

    When You Try To Prove To Someone That A Machine Won’t Work, It Will.

    Law Of Biomechanics

    The Severity Of The Itch Is Inversely Proportional To The Reach.

    Theatre Rule

    At Any Event, The People Whose Seats Are Furthest From The Aisle Arrive Last

    Law Of Coffee

    As Soon As You Sit Down To A Cup Of Hot Coffee, Your Boss Will Ask You To Do Something Which Will Last Until The Coffee Is Cold.

    Murphy’s Law Of Lockers

    If There Are Only Two People In A Locker Room, They Will Have Adjacent Lockers.

    Law Of Dirty Rugs/carpets

    The Chances Of An Open-Faced Jelly Sandwich Of Landing Face Down On A Floor Covering Are Directly Correlated To The Newness And Cost Of The Carpet/rug.

    Law Of Logical Argument

    Anything Is Possible If You Don’t Know What You Are Talking About.

  2. #5472
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    What Is Heaven?

    American Salary,
    German Car,
    Chinese Food &
    Indian Wife

    And What Is Hell?

    American Wife,
    German Food,
    Chinese Car &
    Indian Salary

  3. #5473
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Ek Jungle Mein Mor Aur Morni Bethe The, Mor Ka Man Morni Ko Kiss Karne Ka Kiya,

    Mor Morni Ko Kiss Karne Hi Laga, Ki Morni Use Rok Ke Idhar-Udhar Dekhne Lagi, To Mor Ne Puchha,

    Mor: “Kya Hua Janu?”

    Morni: “Dekh Rahi Hoon Aas-Pass Discovery Wale To Nahi Hai Saale ‘MMS’ Bana Lete Hain“

  4. #5474
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Maths Teacher Class Mein Padhate Hue Kahta Hai.

    Teacher: “Jab Main Tumhare Jitna Tha, Mere Maths Mein 100 Marks Aate The”

    Pappu Ne Ye Suna Aur Hanste Hue Teacher Ko Bola

    Pappu: “Aate Honge Sir Ji, Aap Ko Koi Achha Teacher Padhata Hoga“

  5. #5475
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Muftimal Naam Ka Ek Baniya Bazaar Se Kele Lene Gaya.

    Ek Thele Wala Kele Bech Raha Tha Uske Pass Ruka Aur Pucha.

    Muftimal: “Ye Kela (Banana) Kaisi Diya?”

    Thelewala: “1 Rs Ka Ji.”

    Muftimal: “60 Paisi Ka Deta Hai To Bol”

    Thelewala: “60 Paisi Mein To Sirf Chilka Milega”

    Muftimal Paisi Dete Hue: “Ye Le 40 Paisi, Chilka Apne Paas Rakh, Kela Mujhe Dede“

  6. #5476
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Height Of Facebook Addiction:

    A Boy’s Status: “I’m Online On Facebook During Lecture Hahaha :)”

    Comment From His Professor: “Get Out Of The Class Now :p”

    Dean Liked Comment! ;)

    Friend Commented: “Jaldi Aa Yaar, Cafe Mein Fit Mahol Hai :d”

    Gate Keeper Commented: “Saab, Pahle Idhar Aa Ke Apni Bike Lock Kar Do”

    Mom Commented: “Nalaik Class Nahi Padhani To Sabzi Le Ke Seedha Ghar Wapas Aa”

    Dad Commented: “Dekhlo Apne Bete Ki Harkatein”

    Girl-friend Commented: “I Hate You, Kamine Mujhse Kaha Tha Dadi Hospital Mein Hai Mil Nahi Sakta”

    Dadi Commented: “Manhoos Tu Ghar Aa Batati Hoon Tujhe”

  7. #5477
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Ustaad Fursat Fatte Haal Khan Ji Ka Apni Girlfriend Se Tang Aakar Uspar Likha Gaya Ek Sher

    Tumsa Koi Doosra Zameen Par Hua, To Rabb Se Sikayat Hogi,

    Ek To Jhella Nahi Jata, Dusra Aa Gaya To Kya Halat Hogi.

  8. #5478
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Teacher: “If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

    Pappu: “Seven Sir”

    Teacher: “No, Listen Carefully. If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

    Pappu: “Seven”

    Teacher: “Let Me Put It To You Differently. If I Gave You 2 Apples, And Another 2 Apples And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

    Pappu: “Six.”

    Teacher: “Good. Now If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2,How Many Will You Have?”

    Pappu: “Seven!!!”

    Very Angry Teacher: “Where Do You Get Seven From”

    Very Angry Pappu: “Because I Already Have One At Home“

  9. #5479
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Husband Kills His Unfaithful Wife While Their 5 Year Old Son Was Still Sleeping.

    The Weird Thing Was That The Kid Didn’t Ask For His Mom Even 3 Days After She Went Missing.

    Father: “Is There Something You Want To Ask Me?”

    Kid: “I Just Wonder Why Mom Is Always Standing Behind Your Back?”

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