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Thread: Jokes

  1. #51
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Standing in line at the clothing store's counter, I watched as the woman ahead of me handed the clerk her credit card. The customer waited for a long time while the saleswoman went to verify the account.

    When she finally returned, the clerk said, "I'm sorry, but this card is in your husband's name, and we can't accept it because the records show he is deceased."

    With that, the woman turned to her spouse, who was standing next to her and asked, "Does this mean I don't have to fix lunch for you today?"

  2. #52
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Funny but true 10 oneliners from INDIA
    1. India is a country where on the streets,
    everyone seems to be in a hurry, but no one is ever on time.
    2. Here people wear helmets to save their pockets, not life.
    3. Being one in a million in India means that there are 1241 Indians just like you.
    4. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer.
    5. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India.
    6. In India, it’s okay to piss in public, but not kiss.
    7. In India two things never leave you, your caste and your high school marks.
    8.When it comes to taking a stand on world issues,
    India is like a girl giving mixed signals.
    9. A country whose onions and tomatoes have more value than dollars.
    10 .In India, there are two types of roads: Under Construction and Under Repair.

  3. #53
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Customer: Agar mai aaj cheque jama karu toh wo kab clear hoga?

    Clerk: 3 din mein.

    Customer: Mera cheque toh samne wali bank ka hai...

    Dono bank amne-samne hai fir bhi itna samay kyun?

    Clerk: Sir, Producer toh follow karna padta hai na.

    Socho aap kahi jaa rahe ho...

    aur baaju mein hi Shamshaan hai...

    Agar aap Shamshaan ke bahar hi mar gaye,

    toh aap ko pahle ghar lekar jayenge ya wahin nipta denge?

    Customer behosh....

  4. #54
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Students Guts Medical & Engineering College Principals argued that their students are fearless. Medical college Principal called the students & asked to jump in a sea full of sharks. They Jumped.. Principal said: "See the guts" Engineering College Principal called the students & told them to jump. They said "Pagal hai kya Takle?" Principal said: "See the guts"

  5. #55
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

    The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

    The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

    An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

    Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

    We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

    The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

  6. #56
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    Human = Eat Sleep Work Enjoy

    Donkey = Eat Sleep Work

    Therefore:

    Human = Donkey Enjoy

    Therefore:

    Human - Enjoy = Donkey

    A Human That doesn't know how to enjoy is equal to Donkey that works.

  7. #57
    सदस्य pyasa_sawan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neelima View Post
    Human = Eat Sleep Work Enjoy

    Donkey = Eat Sleep Work

    Therefore:

    Human = Donkey Enjoy

    Therefore:

    Human - Enjoy = Donkey

    A Human That doesn't know how to enjoy is equal to Donkey that works.
    Aab ye baat ajkal ji kanyao Ko kon sajhaye ...
    Khamkha donkey Bani ghumtee rahatee hai
    Jay Hind

  8. #58
    सदस्य pyasa_sawan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neelima View Post
    Human = Eat Sleep Work Enjoy

    Donkey = Eat Sleep Work

    Therefore:

    Human = Donkey Enjoy

    Therefore:

    Human - Enjoy = Donkey

    A Human That doesn't know how to enjoy is equal to Donkey that works.
    Very good joke Nilima ji
    Jay Hind

  9. #59
    सदस्य pyasa_sawan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neelima View Post
    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

    The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

    The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

    An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

    Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

    We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

    The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
    Hahaha ..
    First time meeting with such an intelligent blonde
    Jay Hind

  10. #60
    हास्य साम्राज्ञी Neelima's Avatar
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    A man entered a cool bar and ordered a milk shake, but suddenly he got a telephone call.

    So before attending call he took a napkin and wrote,

    ¿The World¿s Strongest Weightlifter,¿

    and left it under his glass to make sure nobody drinks his milk shake.

    But he was shocked when he returned, the glass was empty.

    Now at spot of old napkin there was a new napkin with new writing that said:

    ¿Thanks for the treat!¿

    ¿The World¿s Fastest Runner¿

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